1. How do you choose books?
By good titles and good covers, by bad titles and bad covers, or by pulling them blindly off the shelf at the library (best method). I try to avoid shitty books ranked below 1,000,000 on Amazon.com, as I’m not interested in kicking the little guys. Exceptions are made to this rule, however.

2. Aren’t you just an asshole who can’t write, so you pick on people who do?
Yes. And I write anyway and some people even publish my writing.

3. Where’s the rating system?
I believe every book to be shitty (or not shitty) in its own subjective way. I may comment at length about the first three pages of a book, or about the author’s appearance, but its up to the reader to decide if page 4 is worth a look.

4. Do you hate writers?
No. I have intense respect for them, even the bad ones. Writing a complete novel is an accomplishment and I admire anyone who can get through it. This, however, does not mean the novel should necessarily be published by a major imprint, or even read. I see this site as more a commentary on the publishing industry than a commentary on writers. I am a writer myself, though, so maybe it’s an expression of self-hatred, too.

5. Why do you only read three pages?
There are too many shitty books. And too many publishers willing to print shitty books. If the first three pages are shitty, the author is not going to be able to save it in the following 400. If you think it’s “not shitty” in the first three pages, there’s at least a chance it will be good in the end. But a shitty book is shitty from prologue to epilogue. Reading three pages lets me cover more ground. Also, it’s funny.

Note: FAQ is currently 100% made up.