by Daniel H. Wilson
Doubleday 2011
First sentence:
Twenty minutes after the war ends, I’m watching stumpers pour up out of a frozen hole in the ground like ants from hell and praying that I keep my natural legs for another day.
Made-up words: stumpers, hexapods, thrower (for flame-thrower), oddly
Best line: …the hoarse whisper of a hundred thousand explosive mechanical hexapods searching for human victims or …sticky, burning jelly coats the river of death.
Worst line: Spark. Whoomph!
You will enjoy this book if you also enjoyed: The Matrix sequels.
I wanted so much to tell you that this, the first book I am reviewing, is shitty. I specifically selected it for its ridiculous title, which cannot actually be the real title. No editor is that stupid. No editor at Doubleday. This is more like the title of a bad movie (upcoming movie is being directed by Steven Speilberg. Release date 2013).
It’s a familiar story at the beginning: robots rise up against man. Man attempts to fight back with flamethrowers (like in Alien except robots instead of aliens). The first three pages is actually entertaining and easy to follow, not overloaded with technojargon or melodrama, even though it drops the reader straight into a scene in which the main character is attempting to fight off thousands of tiny robotic creatures. Even Wilson’s slightly hackish repeated onomatopoeia, “Spark” doesn’t detract from the experience very much.
However, while I could see myself reading on to page four, I’m pretty sure from the look of the photo on the back flap that Daniel H. Wilson is the author of I Was a Balding Hipster Teenager, not the Carnegie-Mellon PhD in robotics with a wife and a daughter his bio claims.
Through freshly-installed braces: “Hey ladeeshhhhh….I’m shheeking a date for shophomore prom shhhhhkthpt.” (spittle flies everywhere).
No, seriously, I think this might actually be a good book.
You win this round, Daniel H. Wilson! Or should I say, Daniel H. KILL-son!
(Because he killed his son.)
(Not really.)
Other reviews: Grasping for the Wind, Fantasy Book Critic, BookThing, The Mad Hatters
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